Let me tell you a story of when men were still men
It was the brawl of Britannia eighteen hundred and ten
From the northern hills to the southern dales
They came from England and Scotland, from Ireland and Wales

 There was bullfighting Billy from the hills of Kildare
And a Dundonian sailor he was built like a bear
And the heavyweight champion defending the throne
Was the Andrew McLarney from Birmingham town
Then there was Barry the bastard of Wales
And from Belfast came Jimmy the stone

 Let’s rumble!!! Cried Brendan McKeever the ref
He was one for the liquor but a tiny bit deaf
So when the bear took a blow from the stone of Belfast
Brendan finished his bottle and then started to laugh
What’s so funny cried bear with a quiver
Half past eight shouted Brendan McKeever

 So the fighting went on, there was bloodshed and tears
After five crates of whisky and a few hundred beers
Only two men remained in the beam from the lamp
It was bullfighting Billy and McLarney the champ

There was eyepoking, nose twisting tricks of the worst
But McKeever the ref didn’t notice at first
He was pissed in the corner but was saved by the bell
He got up from the floor, he was crazy as hell
Grabbed the champ by the balls ‘till he fell
Then finished bullfighting Billy as well

 By then the crowd had gone wild it was eight nine and ten
And the brawl of Britannia had come to an end
So the story is told only one man was left
Raise your glass the the champion, McKeever the ref.